Whatever I Want: Man, This Is a Cheesy One

What is a family? A group related with blood? A bunch of crazy hippies that live in a commune? A single mom and her baby? A man and his life partner who got married despite the death threats? Who do I consider as my family?
I have a mom and a dad. I have two sisters who are blood related and three brothers. I also have a sister that grew up with us, but we have no blood or legal ties to her, now that she is an adult. But we claim her anyway. I am married with three children. Is this all of my family? It all depends.

There are a lot of us and none want to stay in a hotel when we get together so this is what happens.

I have known one of my friends all of my life, literally. Our fathers knew each other way back in the beginning of time. We lived together during high school for a couple of years. I have always known the whole family, and know that I am always welcome to visit any of them.She is definitely a part of my family, her and her whole family, including her parents and siblings.

My friend Tuittu and her little family. My children call her husband 'Uncle- Paul', and they worship them all.

An article "The Family Endures" by Philip F. Notarianni mentions families as tools for survival. I don't strictly speaking need a family today for physical survival, that's what grocery stores are for, but I do need them to survive socially and emotionally. The family I grew up in taught me acceptable behavior so that I can function in a society. My oldest friend helped me through some difficult teenager years. She knows my dark secrets and still she sticks with me. She provides me with a sense of connection that I don't have with anyone else in this country. She has the same background as I have, and she understands what it is like to be an immigrant in the U.S. I need her for my sanity just as much as I need to talk to my sisters every week.

My friend Owen is really the best friend of my brother's. We live only about 40 miles apart, so we've adopted each other, to make up for some of the sadness we both feel since my brother doesn't live anywhere near here.

I have also acquired more people around me that I feel are a part of my family. I gained a whole new family when I got married. My brother's best friend invites us over all the time for different things. I spend more time with my classmates some weeks than I do with my children.

They're so going to hate me when they see that I took this in the first place.

All of these people help me feel like I belong somewhere, and ensure that I survive emotionally. Even though I might not have as deep of a connection with them as I do with the people I have known for more than three decades, they make my life easier and more meaningful right now.

This is my husband's family, at least a lot of them. It doesn't include any of my mother-in- law's family. That would be another more than 60 people. Nobody has a picture of all of us, there are too many people in this bunch to do that.

Families make things easier and they make things harder. With emotional connections come heart ache and disappointment along with happiness and contentment. All of this jumble hopefully helps us become more loving and considerate people. A story 'Creating Space and Place: The Life of a Mormon Polygamous Woman, Amy Teresa Leavitt Richardson' by Bonnie Bastian Moore tells this well through a polygamous wife who found her own set of skills to cope with a difficult situation that she felt that she needed to endure. She found solace in her home, and with her friends, and was able to grow with the help form them.

This is Sam and one of our children. Sam was very sweet with the baby, and loved to play with the kids.

Many families, including ours, have some four- legged members. They can play a big role in survival, including social and emotional survival. They listen to you when nobody else does, and comfort you in a way that you don't understand.

In essence, family is what is around you, what molds you into the person you are, and also what helps you survive that molding. They don't need to be physically close to be important. Most people, including me, have family members that they haven't seen for years, maybe decades. They still are an important part of that person, and helps build us to what we are.

These are some of my siblings and cousins. I haven't seen some of them in person in years, including my younger sister and older brother.

I feel that the more people I can include in my family circle, the happier and more content I am. I have many flaws, and family is the perfect medium to help us accept that, and to accept other people's weaknesses as well. I love my family. For the most part we're all smart, loud, and obnoxious. When my family gets together, it usually means lots of good food, and games to play. Christmas has always been an especially important time for us when we make a special effort to have lots of food and play lots of loud games. You can always refer to the blog post before this one to read more about that.It's called 'Reindeer Is an Incredibly Stupid Animal', and it also has some nice pictures. We can talk for days on end, and never get tired of it. My sisters and I can read books next to each other and feel content. My older sister was the person who taught me to read, watch TV, and knit at the same time.

Family is who will allow you to be who you are that day. They are patient enough with you to endure when you're cranky, in the hopes that tomorrow you wouldn't be. You don't have to suck up your gut to look skinnier with them. They're your homies. It won't matter where they came from, or how you got together, as long as they are there, as long as you're there for each other. And when your blog post gets too cheesy, they're there to send you virtual barf and farts to lighten up the mood.